Twenty Valentines
by Dizzcity
Summary: [Oneshot] Naruto receives a white rose and a note each year, on Valentine's Day, from a secret admirer. Will she ever reveal herself to him? [NaruHina - sort of].


**Standard Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto, Kishimoto does. Which is probably a good thing, too.

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**Twenty Valentines**

He trudged slowly up the hill towards the spot he had come to visit. It was bathed in sunlight, as it should be. He sighed. He didn't have much time, and was only allowed to be in this place once a year. Slowly, he sat down and took the book out from inside his robes. It was old, battered and worn. The writing had started to fade a long time ago. But it didn't matter. He knew the words almost by heart now. Nevertheless, he turned the pages and started to read:

_Dear Diary, _

_Iruka-sensei told me to start writing a diary so that I can keep track of how I've grown over the last few years. I thought it would be a really cool idea, since someday I will be able to read it again when I'm Hokage and remember how I grew up. _

_So…um… nothing really happened today. Oh, except that I got this flower from some sort of secret admirer. Ino says it's a rose. She told me that people give flowers and chocolate to the people that they like on this day. I don't know who this secret admirer is, but I'd bet that it's Sakura-chan. She smiled at me today, but she went to give a flower to Sasuke. That guy got bouquets from every girl in class. But I don't care. I know that Sakura-chan likes me, since she sent me that flower. She's probably just too shy to admit it, so she pretends to like Sasuke._

_Well, I got to go now. Have to train a lot. The graduation exam is coming soon! I'm definitely going to pass this time!_

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___Dear Diary,_

___Damn, damn, damn. I still can't believe Sasuke left the village. But I'm going to get him back, no matter what anyone says. I don't leave my friends. And I promised Sakura-chan to bring him back, no matter what. I don't go back on my words. Even Ero-sennin called me a fool for trying to save Sasuke when he doesn't want to be saved, but he doesn't know anything. I'm going to get Sasuke back. That's my Ninja Way. I'll be leaving the hospital soon, and then I'm going to find Ero-sennin and train with him._

_Oh yeah, I almost forgot! It's Valentine's Day today and I found another rose today by my bedside when I woke up, from my secret admirer. I still don't know who it is, but I don't have time to find out now. It's nice to know that there's somebody out there who likes me though. There's so few of them around. Maybe I can find out who it is when I get back. I know it's not Sakura-chan anymore – she loves Sasuke too much. And she's too busy training with Tsunade-baba to actually have time for things like this. Ah, my arm hurts. I'll continue writing another time._

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___Dear Diary, _

___I'm almost too tired to write, but it's become a habit now. I'll keep it short, anyway. Training today was crazy. Jiraiya-sensei made me climb up the same damn mountain fifty times, AFTER I used up nearly all my chakra. And while I was doing that, he was peeping through his little perverted telescope at the girls camping nearby. Once of these days, I swear I'm going to poke his eyes out._

_Oh yeah, speaking of girls, I actually got a Valentine's Day gift from my secret admirer! I don't know how she found out where I was, but when we went to collect our mail today, I found a small package for me which contained a white rose and a note saying that she hoped I was doing well and training hard. That was the first time she ever wrote something besides "Happy Valentine's Day, from your secret admirer". I really have to find out who she is when I get back to Konoha. I don't know that many girls… Sakura-chan, Ino, Tsunade-baba, Shizune, that girl on Rock Lee's team – TenTen, I think her name was – and… oh yeah, Hinata. Oh, and Ayame-san, from Ichiraku. Maybe it's her. After all, I used to see her almost every day when I was back in Konoha. I bet she fell in love with me because she could tell I was going to become a great ninja. Ah, my head hurts. I'd find out when I get back. Only 1 more year to go._

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_Dear Diary, _

_Sorry I couldn't write yesterday. There were a lot of things happening. I just got back to Konoha Village, and met up with my old friends. Sakura-chan and I were fighting Kakashi the whole day yesterday, because he wanted to test our abilities. It was good to see Sakura-chan again – she's grown a lot. She even said that she had a new respect for me! Today, I ran into Kiba, Hinata and Shino. They've all grown and changed a lot, too. Shino's grown taller, but still looks like the same freak he always was. Still doesn't talk much. He's weird. Kiba's hasn't changed much. He's still pretty loud, but seems to have gotten slightly quieter. Maybe Shino or Hinata is rubbing off on him. We still got into a fight, though. If it wasn't for the fact that I was still tired out from yesterday's battle with Kakashi-sensei, I would have beaten him easily. He said he was going easy on me too, because he didn't want to upset his teammates. Bah, that loudmouthed idiot. Hinata's grown a LOT. She's not so timid anymore, and she really looks very pretty now. Almost as pretty as Sakura-chan. We didn't talk much, because I was busy fighting with Kiba._

_What else? Oh yeah, I forgot that today was Valentine's Day until I got back to my apartment in the afternoon. I found another rose on my doorstep with the words "Welcome back to Konoha, from your secret admirer." I want to find out who this girl is. I thought I would ask Ino, since her parents own a flower shop in the village, but when I showed her the rose, she said it wasn't bought from them. Apparently, this rose is of the best quality possible, and she said it must have been privately grown, not for sale. I spent the rest of the day going around to the different flower shops around the village just to make sure, and it turns out that she was right. These roses aren't sold anywhere. I don't know what to do next… I can't just go sneaking into everyone's garden to look at their roses. That's crazy. Maybe I'll try asking around some more tomorrow._

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_Dear Diary, _

_All right! _This_ year, I'm definitely going to find out who my secret admirer is! Those roses must have come from somewhere! I'm down to 245 gardens and households that might contain those white roses. I remembered it this time, and I've been waiting and planning for this for the whole of last month. Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, and I'm planning to stay up all night to watch for her. I'm writing this now as I sit and wait, so I can write more this time._

_I didn't write for a long time because there were so many things happening. We managed to bring Sasuke back, but his mind has been affected a lot. It's like he's empty, and there's no soul left. It's like he doesn't recognise us any more – not even Sakura. She was in tears. Jiraiya-sensei said that he probably used his curse seal so much, Orochimaru drained his soul. Damn that guy! It's a good thing that we killed him. I hate him. I hate Sasuke too, for making Sakura cry. She's still at the hospital now, watching over him._

_Hinata was there too. It's funny how she's always around at the right time. We haven't really talked much since that time when she encouraged me before the first Chuunin exams, but yet somehow I feel that she understands me and how I feel. She's lonely too, coming from the main family and all that. When I'm Hokage, I'm definitely going to change that Hyuuga family. But anyway, I bumped into her today at the hospital when I went to visit Sasuke. She blushed as usual – her skin is really fair – but we managed to talk a bit. I was actually feeling a little down, because I failed to bring Sasuke back intact, but she cheered me up, and told me that I was the kind of person that would be able to bounce back from any failure. She's right, too. I remember her saying the same words to me that other time. I may fail sometimes, but I'm a proud failure. I always get back up. That's my Ninja Way. It's a good thing I have friends like Hinata to remind me about that, whenever I almost forget. _

…

_Damn, damn, damn! I was so busy writing I didn't pay attention for a second! There's another white rose on my doorstep, and I can't sense anyone close by! I'm gonna stop now and try to scout around._

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_Dear Diary, _

_Whew! Being a Jounin is tiring! But it's another step towards being Hokage, so I don't mind. Even though I've been on the move for the last two months chasing down the last of the Akatsuki, it still seems as though it was yesterday that I just graduated from the Academy, and Iruka-sensei gave me his forehead protector. I'm exhausted. Not only did our target escape, but my team-mates were badly hurt. It's lucky that we have Hinata as our medic. Her Byakugan really came in handy in fixing up Kiba's and Lee's injuries. I was healed by Kyuubi, of course, so while the rest of my team went home after coming back to Konoha, Tsunade-sama made me write a complete mission report – in triplicate! I hate paperwork!_

_By the time I got back home, I didn't want to do anything except sleep, but I found a white rose and another note waiting for me at my door as usual. I've been so caught up with the new responsibilities of being a Jounin that I completely forgot that it was Valentine's Day today. I was actually planning on waiting again to try and catch a glimpse of her, but I guess this mission sort of sidetracked my plans. Kiba and Lee laughed when I told them about my secret admirer, but Hinata looked sort of… sad? I don't know what that expression on her face was, but somehow, I didn't like to see it there. But before I could say anything about it, we got attacked, so I forgot all about it until now. But that doesn't matter._

_What I'm interested in finding out now is _how_ my secret admirer seems to know so much about me. It's almost like she knows exactly where I am all the time, or what I'm thinking about. Here's the note I got – it's not your typical Valentine's Day message:_

**"_Dear Naruto-kun,_**

_**I know that you're trying to find out who I am. I noticed you watching last year, and looking through the rose gardens. Please don't. There are some reasons why I can't tell you who I am. But I really do love you a lot. I hope that all of your dreams and plans will come true, especially your wish to become Hokage. In the meantime, I'll have to love you from afar. Take care of yourself, and know that you are a precious person to me. Happy Valentine's Day.**_

_**Your secret admirer."**_

_How does a person respond to THAT? I think I'll respect her wishes not to make herself known – even though it bugs me like hell. It's crazy, but I'm beginning to like this girl a lot – even though I've never seen her, or heard her, and only get one rose and a note every year. She's the only one that has ever been so faithful to me throughout all these years. Whenever I read back through my past diary entries, I always smile to think of how she's been sending me Valentines for the last half-decade. _

_I think I'm gonna go sleep now… I'm exhausted. I'll write more tomorrow morning._

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_Dear Diary, _

_I did it! I actually managed to communicate with my secret admirer! Today is Valentine's Day, so I knew she would probably leave a white rose on my doorstep as usual. So, yesterday night, I put a note there, saying how grateful I was that she remembered me every Valentine's Day, and how much I appreciated it. I know I wasn't supposed to try and find out who she was, but I couldn't help asking if there would ever come a time when she would reveal herself to me. When I woke up this morning, I found the white rose, and the usual "Happy Valentine's Day, from your secret admirer", but underneath it she had scribbled the words, "When you become Hokage."_

_That gives me even more motivation to become Hokage now! I can't wait to finally meet her. I've been telling Sakura all about her, whenever she has time off from work and visits me. In retrospect though, I guess that wasn't the best idea. Sakura never really got over Sasuke's suicide. Telling her about my love life while she was still suffering from the wounds was a bit insensitive. I think I'll try and make it up to her tomorrow, when I go and see her. I have to be there for her now, since I'm the only one from her Genin team left, and Kakashi is busy. _

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_Dear Diary, _

_Valentine's Day again. This time around, I actually got more than one valentine. Besides my usual one from my secret admirer, who didn't say anything special this time, I also got one from Sakura, thanking me for being there for her this last year. I'm glad I managed to help her through her grief. Whenever I think of Sasuke, or Orochimaru, my heart swells up in anger, and I want to pound them some more, even though they're already dead. Sakura was so hurt. I would do anything to prevent her from experiencing the same sort of hurt again. I guess this is what a Hokage must feel like – doing everything to protect the people of this village from harm. They're all precious people. I'm starting to learn that now. They may hate me, but I still love them anyway. It's not about acknowledgement, or power. That's what led Sasuke and Orochimaru astray. It's about love. _

_I love my people, my village. I love my team-mates, my friends. They're my precious people, and I would die for them. That's what Valentine's Day means for me now. I wanted to share that with my secret admirer, but I didn't have the right words when I tried to write her a note yesterday. I wonder why I can write it so well now? But I have to share it with someone… I think I'll go over to Sakura's house and tell her about it._

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_Dear Diary, _

_I'm in huge trouble. It's Valentine's Day again. And this time, I didn't just get one or two, but more than a dozen valentines! Why? Because the Godaime announced that I was her chosen successor and would become Hokage a year from now. Ever since then, I've been chased by young, eligible _kunoichi_ each time I dare to show my face in public. I wonder if this was how Neji felt when he was younger, before TenTen finally got him to start dating her. But it doesn't matter, anyway. The only two valentines I needed or wanted to see were both there: one from Sakura, and one from my secret admirer. _

_Lately, I've been very confused in my emotions. Sakura and I have gotten closer, because of our shared sorrow. It's almost like there's something under the surface of our friendship that's trying to break through. I don't know if she realises it yet. I'm not even sure if _I_ want to face it. I mean, yeah, I used to have this big crush on her back when we were little, but that was a long time ago, and a lot of things have changed. And yet, when I try to picture in my imagination what my ideal woman would look like, I don't really see her face._

_Or rather, I don't see her face alone. _

_Sometimes, I would see Sakura. Sometimes, I would see a faceless entity in the form of a white rose that is my secret admirer. Sometimes – and this is the strangest of all – I see Hinata. What bugs me is that I don't know why. We're on the same team together, of course, and we've been working together for a long time now – almost 4 years. Every time I look at her, I feel… something. I'm not sure what. She seems to feel that way too, because she never seems to meet my gaze clearly and always turns away blushing. Then again, she's been blushing for as long as I can remember, so maybe it's just genetic or something. But every time it truly mattered, every time I've ever doubted myself, she's been there to support me and boost my own confidence. She believes in me so strongly. I know that I would never let her down. Her faith demands that from me. _

_I think all those times spent with Shikamaru and Chouji are starting to rub off on me. When did I ever become so philosophical? Shikamaru would probably tell me that love was too troublesome and I was better off without it, but what does he know? He doesn't have a secret admirer who has been faithful for nearly a decade, or a girl who needs him and wants him close, or a girl who believes in him so strongly that he cannot doubt himself._

_What should I do? In just 12 months' time, I will be the next Hokage. And then I will finally get to meet the girl I've been waiting to see for the last 5 years. But then, what happens after that? Would I love her, once I've seen her? Will she be a stranger to me – someone who I've never paid attention to and don't know? Or will she be someone I've met before and know a little? Whatever it is, I know – and I make a promise to myself – that I will repay her for all these years of Valentine's Day gifts. Thanks to her, I never felt lonely or left out whenever I saw couples walking down the street on this day, because I knew that there was someone out there who loved me… even though I haven't seen her face yet._

_I'm getting too sappy. Love does strange things to people – I think it was Jiraiya-sensei who told me that. Or maybe it was Shikamaru. I can't remember. Ah, it can wait. I have to go to sleep now. Got a mission tomorrow._

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The man brushed aside the tears welling in his eyes. He turned to the last page of the diary – the last time he had ever wanted to write in this book. There was only one word there – a name. A soundless cry of agony and regret, dappled with the stains of tears over the years. As he looked down upon the name he had written to express all of his feelings, the memories came back to him...

_**It was the day he would don the red and white robes signifying his new office. Already, his predecessor was giving him instructions and briefing him on what his new duties were. He grinned at her, and waved the necklace she had given him all those years ago, reminding them both that a young boy's dream would come true today. She smiled, and flicked a finger at his forehead in remembrance. **_

**_Together, they walked out to the balcony overlooking the large crowd of villagers that had assembled to greet their new Hokage. As he gazed upon them all, he searched the faces for the people he wanted to see. A flash of pink hair, and he smiled. Pearl eyes above a blushing cheek, and he grinned. But most of all, he searched for the person hidden in the crowd that would be carrying a white rose. That was the one he wanted to see today. He hadn't found a note or flower waiting for him at his doorstep today, but he assumed that it was because she was planning to give it to him in person this time. _**

_**With all eyes turned towards the ceremony, it was no wonder that the traitor was able to slip into the crowd undetected. But he never succeeded in his attack. Somehow, she had known. Somehow, she had seen it with those eyes of hers. And as the assassin hidden in the crowd of assassins had launched those deadly poisoned senbon at the new leader of the Leaf Village, she had intercepted them with her body. **_

_**By the time he had recovered from the shock, it was already too late. It was a very fast-acting poison. She slumped into his arms, those glorious pearlescent eyes starting to fade. He had been frantic, calling out for people to come and help, but they were too busy hunting down and destroying the killer. In the end, even all of Tsunade's vaunted prowess could do nothing but stave off death for a few more seconds. **_

**_With her dying breath, she had – finally – looked him straight in the eyes and whispered, "Happy Valentine's Day, Hokage-sama." She was the first to acknowledge him by his new title. Her hands dipped inside her uniform and plucked out the two things that struck terror into his heart._**

_**A white rose.**_

_**A note.**_

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The man, tears flowing freely down his face now, took out the faded note from between the pages and started to read it through his blurred vision.

_Dear Naruto-kun,_

_Today is the day I've been waiting for, for so long. It's the day when I will finally have the courage to tell you who I am, and how I feel about you. I wanted to write it all down first, so that I would remember it when the time comes, even though I will tell you in person. I love you. I have loved you ever since we first knew each other as fellow students at the Academy. Each year that passed only increased my feelings for you, and it became more and more difficult to express them. _

_I couldn't find any way of letting you know how much I liked you until I discovered Valentine's Day, and thought of sending you valentines from a secret admirer. I wanted so much to tell you, when we were younger, but each time I tried to, something would stop me. Maybe it was fear. Maybe it was my own shyness. I… couldn't. All my life I lived in fear. Fear of what you would say, fear of what my father would say. I knew that if I ever reveal my love for you, my father would put an end to our relationship and I would never be able to see you again. The only way I could be free of him was if you would become Hokage. So I waited, and prayed for your dream to come true. _

_I was so glad when Tsunade-sama proclaimed you to be her successor. Suddenly, it felt like all my dreams would be answered, and I would be free to love you in open, not in secret. It would even be okay if you didn't love me back the way I loved you. All I wanted to do was to love you. It got so hard, trying to keep my feelings bottled in this last year. I wanted to tell you who I was almost every day – each time we were out on missions together. I think you might have sensed it, because you also started to look at me strangely. But I didn't dare to. I promised myself, though, that I would be the first to call you by your new title. And I will keep that promise. That's my Ninja Way. You taught me that, Naruto-kun._

_Each time I looked at you, I felt stronger, more determined. I knew I could do everything, as long as you were there. Even though you made mistakes, even though you failed sometimes, you kept on getting back up, kept on going. That's what I will do too. I want to be strong like you. I want to be strong _for_ you._

_Today will be the day that I will tell you how much you mean to me._

_Your secret admirer,_

_Hyuuga Hinata_

_-_

Naruto wept.

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The sun was going down when the white-eyed lady appeared on the hillside. By this time, he had stopped weeping and was quietly standing by the grave, one hand resting on it while looking up at the sky. The young woman cleared her throat softly, and the Rokudaime Hokage turned to face her.

"I'm sorry Hokage-sama, but it's time," she said softly. The man nodded. He understood. Hinata had been buried in the Hyuuga's private cemetery, inside the compound. No one was allowed inside it after dark.

"Just give me two more minutes with her, Hanabi," he said. She quietly acquiesced and slipped away into the growing darkness again.

Naruto turned to face the sunset again and looked wonderingly into the sky, as a gentle breeze ruffled his golden locks.

"Are you there somewhere?" he murmured, scanning the heavens. "Are you still watching over me, watching me like you did all those years? I failed to save you that time. I failed to notice you when I should have. But you still believed in me, don't you? I promise you, I won't fail again. I will get up from my failure and get going again, just like you always told me to."

He pulled out the white rose he had brought and placed it on the same grave that he had visited every Valentine's Day for the last nine years.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Hinata."


End file.
